Control

Control…what a strange concept.

Such an exquisitely satisfying feeling for those few moments after you’ve convinced yourself, yet again, that you are in charge.

“All is going according to plan.  All is well.”

Then, comes the crash.

Bam!                   

Life shows up in it’s own design and time frame, shattering all of your delicious plans.

Shock, anger, betrayal. “How could this be happening?  This isn’t what I had planned!   What a cruel cosmic joke!”

Illusions  shattering. Bones being broken so they can be reset.

Agony.

Pain, in all it’s forms, while your heart is being ground, pulverized out of it’s previous shape.

 

Excruciating, crushing, grinding…

…gradually opening hearts to richer, more grounded experiences.

Beautiful mixture of pain, loss, sorrow, isolation, lamentation

….interspersed with glimmers of hope, possibility, peace, joy.

Acceptance. Understanding.  Realizations flooding in, of the blessing of it all.

Waning Moon

Don’t you love it when everything lines up for you and life just seems to be moving along beautifully?  During these times, it is quite clear that a higher intelligence is laying it all out perfectly for you… and you feel you are totally in on the planning, strategizing, timing and mobilizing of your life.  Life is great!

But this is not a constant state.

This clarity gets routinely obscured (temporarily) when we go through the other half of the growth cycle in our soul’s evolution. During this time, we don’t know what is coming our way, we don’t have a sense of where we are going and what is coming next.  We may feel disconnected and out of sync with the plan for our life.

These phases of life can be compared to the Waning of the Moon cycle.  The moon, after reaching it’s fullest point of illumination for the month, begins to incrementally recede into the darkness.

Just like the moon, we too make necessary passages into the exquisite darkness of our spirit.  Here, we visit the beautiful pools of mystery, laden with untold hidden treasures from our depths, and there, we obtain the vital material for creating the next phase of our life’s journey.

During these times, it’s hard to completely appreciate the importance and beauty of our position because we are temporarily and purposefully diminished in our capacity to perceive from our normal waking self’s level of consciousness. This is the time when our deeper levels of consciousness are doing some substantial work on our behalf without our mental understanding of it.  This is when we gather our deeper material from which to create our next phase of life.

It can feel quite challenging to APPRECIATE  when this side of the experience of life comes our way, but there are some things you can do to nurture and support yourself at these times…

1.  Notice what thoughts are telling you that it is not ok to be in the “Waning cycle.”  Give yourself permission to disengage from these ideas that are out of sync with your current inner flow. Follow your gut! It will guide you to learn how to work cooperatively and successfully with your Waning Process.

2.  Give your mental body permission to follow your inner inclinations.  It may feel like you’re out of sync with life but really, you are totally engaged with life…from a different part of your consciousness.  This is a time to bond with these deeper portions of your awareness.  It’s a completely different relationship than the relationship with the more “surfacy” levels of awareness. Notice the differences and honor them. Celebrate and Cherish this relationship.

3.  Recognize that you probably have different needs during this phase.  Adjust your life accordingly as much as you can.  You may need a little more solitude, rest, introspection, exercise, conversation etc. than usual. Remind yourself that that is totally ok.  Joyfully engage in these activities and acknowledge that you are giving your deeper self what it needs to do it’s work.

4.  Don’t try to fill in the gaps!  There may be times when you notice a void, feel empty and don’t have the answers.  Stop. Allow. Rest. Wait. Listen.  Have patience.  Don’t work to manufacture some kind of solution or mental conceptualization to this state.  Trust that your deeper self will inform you in the appropriate time and manner.  It is probably already telling you but in a way that seems foreign to your normal everyday waking mind.  Relax in the knowing that everything is being handled.

5.   ASK!    Remember to always ask your inner knowing what is in your highest good.  Ask for information if you feel confused.  Even if you don’t get an answer right away or in the form you wanted, be sure to RECEIVE the answers fully.  They may come in the form of a feeling, an image, a phone call, a thought, an understanding.  Be intuitive with it.  Acknowledge that you are receiving answers when they come.

Comments?  Please feel free to leave a reply.

Everything is Connected

Everything is connected…EVERYTHING.  From the grass outside to the electronics we interact with.  From people and animals we’ve never met to the geological structures of the earth.  Our mission is to keep opening up our awareness to this…not just as a concept but as a direct experience.

What truly hurts our heart is the shutting down of our conscious awareness of this cosmic interconnectedness. These connections are invisible to the human eye, but when we progress along the continuum of experiencing Divine Interconnectedness, this connection becomes more and more palpable.  We Feel it!  We Know it! We become aware that it is like breathing to us…automatic and vital to our experience on this earth plane.

I encourage you to make a daily practice of reaching out in silent meditation to the animals, plants and elements in your environment.  Watch these relationships take on a deeper life of their own.  Have internal conversations with these beings and most importantly, quiet your mind so you can hear what they say to you.

Namaste – “The God in me bows to the God in you.”

“The Spirit within me salutes the Spirit in you”

– a knowing that we are all made from the same One Divine Consciousness.

Questions? Comment? Feel free to leave a reply.

Transcending Family Discord

Your family is a part of who you are. 

They have been with you from your very beginning and thus impact the deepest part of your sense of belonging, psyche and emotional structure.

When there are rifts in the family, it can cut you to your core. 

 

Your self estimation, perception of yourself and self value are adversely impacted when your family system is out of whack. 

Your biggest challenge in this life is to reconcile with who you truly are and, sometimes, family isn’t the solid rock that you have always longed for it to be. 

 

Healing your relationship with yourself in relation to your family is your biggest quest throughout this life. 

Everything you strive for, wish for and work towards is dependent on your dealing with this primary objective AND you will be dealing with this for the rest of your life. 

A healthy balance with family is required to make the highest progress. 

Healthy distance from family is useful in finding your individual bearings, however, once you’ve established this, the next step is finding out how to connect with them while maintaining your center within. 

 

There is no right or wrong in the family, just unconscious behavioral programming based on hurting, wounding and trauma. 

Blaming, scapegoating, self denial, repression are only distractions and delay tactics that keep one in the victim/villain loop. Compassion for yourself and others is key. 

Seeing yourself (and the other person) apart from the unconscious negative programming is vital to your liberation. 

Remember, the person is NOT their behavioral patterns. Seeing this will greatly increase your capacity for having compassion for yourself and for them.

Compassion is ALCHEMY!

 

Remember, you are learning to love, respect and honor yourself and your family while maintaining your own healthy boundaries and perimeters. 

You are being called to love others without allowing them to walk all over you. 

Firmly committing to your requirements for connection is true self love – for your self and for them.

 

Here are some personal inventory questions to ask yourself :

1. How do I see myself? How do the individual members of my family see me?

2. What are their expectations of me? How do these clash with what I expect from myself?

3. Who am I in relation to my family?  Who am I apart from my family? Is there a way to bridge the gap and allow both of those to exist simultaneously and in harmony?  Think about the automatic patterns that arise when around family or that originated in the family.

4. What roles have I unconsciously agreed to take on in relation to my family of origin? What roles have my parents taken on with me?  How can I release myself and them from those roles?  What would happen if we were released from those roles?

5. Where am I stuck in my life? How is my unhealed family dynamics influencing this? What is the turn around for me to release myself from the family programming and move forward in a way that is aligned with who I am?

 

 

Question? Comments?  I’d love to hear from you.

Are you playing the Shame Game?

What is the Shame Game?

It is the circular downward spiral into unworthiness and despising the self – cutting ourselves off from the beautiful truth of our being.  We all succumb.  Sometimes we know it and sometimes we are completely oblivious that Shame is driving our incarnational vehicle away from light-giving inspiration.  It is so very easy to be seduced by thoughts of self deprecation.  Yes, that’s right, I said “Seduced.”  These low level thoughts, and the energies that come from them, are very seductive.  “I don’t belong.  I don’t matter.  No one cares about me so I should recede.  I don’t make a difference so why bother.  What I have to offer and who I am is LESS than,  so I don’t count….”  There is a seductive trance that sets in when we allow these thoughts to guide our actions, choices and our perceptions of ourselves.  Our ability to witness and live from our exalted sense of self gets veiled, skewed, distorted and eventually is perceived as inaccessible.

 

What can I do to get out of this?  How can I stop the Shame Game?

The answer is very simple but takes a great amount of commitment and diligence.

1.  Interrupt the patterned negative thoughts and recognize them as only patterns that are no where near as strong as you are.  You may have to do 20 pattern interrupts in 5 minutes and that’s ok. Write yourself sticky notes to remind yourself.  Set up little reminders on your phone or computer.  You are worth it.

2.  Get constructive feed back from a trusted friend who sees the real you.  Try to minimize contact with folks who affirm your negative self talk.  There are strength in numbers and you want strength to be applied towards your upward trend.

3. Connect to those people and concepts that inspire you.  Sometimes, when we come across people who are living their dream, we are able to catch some of their wind.  It ignites and stirs our own wings so we can take flight on our own.  We are reminded of our inherent potential and can more easily connect to it within ourselves.

 

** Check out my latest Session:

Washing Away Toxic Shame : Residing in the Divine Mother’s Embrace.

 

Shame works behind the scenes in our lives, usually without us even being aware that it is steering our boat.  The more you can become aware of this insidious negative force, the more you are able to do something about it.  Be diligent and watch the wonderful changes start to happen.  Sincerest Blessings!

 

Questions? Comments? Feel free to leave a message.

 

 

Spring has sprung. Have you?

It’s here!  Spring has arrived. The birds are chirping. Trees are putting out new leaves.  And we are doing the same…sort of.

Now that the weather is changing, it’s the perfect time to clarify your focus and direct your energies to projects and activities that nourish your heart.  Here are some ideas to help you ride the waves of the Growing Season:

1. This is a perfect time to take out those old buried “to do” lists and revisit them with the fresh eyes of spring.  See which of those items feels good to possibly take on.  Include practical things as well as personal interests. Is there a fresh new way you can go about some of them? Do you have some old hobbies, passions that you’ve put by the way side many years ago? Perhaps you may take a class or do some online learning via YouTube to reclaim some of your old interests and skills.

2. Clean out your closets, drawers, cabinets, sheds!  Spring cleaning helps open the space for clearer perspectives on your goals, dreams and visions.  Plus, you may find some of your old dreams that have been stashed away in storage.  De-clutter and re-purpose.  If you don’t use it, let it go.  If it brings you down when you look at it, let it go.  Make way for new or long forgotten objects that remind you of what is most dear to your heart.

3. Re arrange your furniture ~ rearrange your life.  When we open up new pathways for energy (and our bodies) to flow in our home, we also open up new pathways in our minds, thinking and perception.  Take advantage of the fresh spring energy by redirecting the flow in your home, office, car or yard.  These physical changes directly benefit other areas in your life.  I guarantee it!

4. Connect with people who inspire you to take on that which is good for you.  Industriousness for the purpose of Renovating our lives is catchy!

Nature – what a glorious intelligence that just knows the perfect timing for everything.  Remember to take things at a pace and timing that is right for you.  Don’t try to force anything. Get into the fun and excitement of renovating your life as you take on a few of these recommendations.

Comments?  Questions?  I’d love to hear how spring is springing up in your life this season.

Relationship Bliss

A great relationship will reveal your most deeply buried material that is in need of healing.  This is because it provides a container of safety for you to process and transcend to a fuller expression of your authentic being.  We need relationships to see ourselves so that we can better ourselves.  Relationships require hard work, commitment to truth, openness, vulnerability, self-worth, self respect, dedication to you and your partner’s personal and relational evolution and more.

Here are some conceptual re-frames that will help you create and land in a grounded and reality based relationship :

1. Your partner is your friend – not your fantasy.

The notion that “the person of your dreams” will come and make everything better is a big hurdle that all of us must conquer in order to have a great relationship.  This is a set up for a fall later on because no relationship can flourish while you are putting your beloved on a pedestal. Sooner or later, they will disappoint you by not living up to the fantasy.  This is inevitable because your partner is a human being, not a servant to an illusion.  Taking this hollywood lie out of the picture in your relationship will help you to actually be present to who your partner really is and who you are in relation to him/her.  It will help you to truly see and love the person in front of you and releases the both of you from the confines of a conceptual distortion.

2.  Be consistent in asking your self and your partner, “Is this a present time emotion? Or is it from the past?”

Often times, there is a real present time dilemma that needs to be dealt with but it gets super charged and feels confusing because a trigger from your past has over-layed it with the charge from your past.  Usually, if there is an impasse or disagreement, it is because both partners have a real time present day need to communicate and resolve but BOTH are triggered and can’t see their way through it with compassion and clarity.  Just by asking yourself the above question, doing the internal detective work, and seeing the internal situation for what it is, will discharge and alleviate the situation substantially. This is not about pointing fingers at yourself or your partner. It is about getting to the bottom of things together so that you can both create win~win resolutions.

3.  Use loving, respectful and compassionate timing and language.

Respectful timing is choosing the appropriate time to bring up a charged topic.  Tune into yourself and your partner to get a sense of whether they AND you are in a space to look at and examine a challenging issue.  Sometimes, it seems that there is never the right moment, and you need to bring it up when you can, but you will have more successful outcomes when you take a moment and observe your state and theirs.  If your partner seems to have a lot going on at the moment, it probably may be more effective to wait for a window when they aren’t already stressed out (or when you aren’t already stressed out) in relation to another issue.

Respectful language is about using loving, clear and kind words.  Before you communicate with your partner check your word choice, language and TONE.  Is it:  Non blaming?  Unifying – “We are in this together?”   Non Judgmental?   Positive?   Hopeful?   Offering Solutions?  Loving – “I care about you?”

Having these qualities in your language will create openings and minimize substantially, the shut down that comes along with hurt feelings.  On the other side of this, when you are approached by your partner in regards to a change they would like you to make, you get very vulnerable and it is very easy to feel attacked.  If your partner is not choosing the best language and tone, he/she may be coming from a place of hurt or victimization.  The best thing to do is remind yourself that while he/she has good intentions, they could probably use some instruction on how you would like them to ask you to change in the future.  Kindly, educate them on what language and tone work best for you.  Your loved ones want you to teach them how you would like them to treat you.

Wishing you bountiful relationship bliss.

Gabriella Espinosa

Questions and comments are most welcome.

Mirror Mirror

People show up in your life for you to love them.  However, when they exhibit some not so loveable attributes, it makes this task seem quite daunting.  It is at this moment that you have a choice.  You can dig deep within yourself and find where you share those “not so easy to love” hidden qualities and then choose to bring love and compassion to yourself.  Or you can feel triggered, affronted, disconnected, judgmental, hurt, passive aggressive, etc. by the actions of that person and remain stuck there. 

When you choose to go within, you access a profound healing portal to exponential transformation.  Your heart lightens, you feel wonderfully peaceful and are no longer trapped in the negative feelings of the previous moment.   You experience an exquisite passage of transcendence where you feel more whole in yourself and have released the other person from your attention and reactions. 

This process of going within when triggered by unloving words / behaviors from another will involve an archeological dig of sorts.  Ask yourself, “What is this feeling? Why do I feel that way? Is there another feeling underneath it that I am trying to avoid by feeling this one instead? What am I projecting onto this person?  What are they projecting onto me?” etc.  Asking yourself the appropriate leading questions and deeply opening yourself to receive the honest answers from your soul, will take you deeper and deeper into heart resolution, clarification and solidification in your spirit’s truth.

I truly wish you a wonderful 2014!

love,

Gabriella

Out with the Old

It’s that time of the year…

Time to clear out the old to make room for the new

I’m sure you’ve noticed that we have been under quite a wave of deep purging / purification for a while.  Now with the year coming to an end, you may be experiencing an intensification of the cosmic “push” to bring things into completion and expedite the next phase of your experience into manifestation.

Below are a few helpful tips to work jointly with the cosmic forces that are at play.

1.  Be open to the unexpected.
There is so much more to you than you realize.  The vastness and complexity that is your unique spirit’s make up is far more than you will ever know.  Fortunately, our intelligent divine self knows how to only bring up deep information in a way and a timing that is right for us.  Often, this information and the way it is delivered is not what we are expecting so we may not recognize the profundity of the message at the time and can let if fall by the way side if we are not paying attention.  Whether you understand it or not is not important. What is important is that you listen and witness.
Also, spirit will often give us information in parts and so the message may not make sense until later.  We receive small pieces at a time and it is up to us to allow the dots to connect themselves by following this inspiration with our attention, receptivity and gratitude.

2.  Be welcoming.
Our psyches are showing us where we have been living under erroneous notions about our selves, others and life.  Coming into this awareness can feel quite uncomfortable. We have become deeply acclimated and normalized to these MIS-Perceptions and facing them can be darn right painful.  When we welcome the truth and allow the challenging feelings…magic starts to happen.  They begin to have less of a hold on you and you begin to take back your power, dignity and humility in the very situations that used to blindside you in the past.

3.  Stop Blaming.
Stop blaming others.  Stop blaming God. Stop blaming yourself. AND stop blaming yourself for having blamed in the first place.  We are in a blame unraveling process and, little by little, we regain our power, our sense of choice and free will when we throw off the trappings of victimization.  As I said, this is a process.  It doesn’t happen over night.  As long as you commit to deciding to end the blame game, you will succeed.

4.  Allow Your Feelings.
We are taught to dampen and stop our feelings at every turn.  Our emotions show us where we have been hurt in the past and where we are being hurt in the present. They are our guide posts to show us where we need to make corrections in our course – whether internally with our own thoughts and judgements or externally with situations and people where there are boundary infractions and disrespect.  Your feelings help you to see where you are out of integrity with yourself and it is your job to do the hard work of distinguishing what is your part and what is another’s part.  It is important to take responsibility for what is your doing and communicate what is unacceptable to you to others so that they can make appropriate corrections in their relating to you.

On the flip side, allowing your feelings to run amok can have a very detrimental impact on your life if you don’t reign them in and use them for your own betterment.  Spilling them onto others and making others responsible for your emotions is a no win path and can get the better of any of us from time to time.

Thank you for reading.
Questions, Comments?  Please leave a response by clicking on the speech bubble above and to the right of this post or in the space below.

wishing you the happiest of holidays,
Gabriella Espinosa

They’re Back! New Years Pure Soul Alchemy Healing Sessions

They’re Back! New Years Pure Soul Alchemy Healing Sessions

Great News!  Pure Soul Alchemy Group Sessions are back. 

We are starting up with a New Year’s 2 session series.

Session 1 “Out with the Old”

Session 2 “In with the New”

There is limited space (7 spots) as I just couldn’t resist holding them in my Little Office, so RSVP early to secure your spot.  If there is enough demand, I will add a 2nd section.  Group Aura Soma Reading included.

love & peace, Gabriella